


Parallel

by liminoid



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liminoid/pseuds/liminoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A meeting between Snake and Raiden, a few months after the events of MGS2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parallel

It was the first time they'd met since the Big Shell incident.

Crisp January air surrounded Raiden and Snake as they sat together on a bench in Prospect Park. It had felt ridiculous hopping over fences to meet him here in the dead of night, but Raiden insisted. This was where he came when he wanted to be alone. Snake supposed that sneaking around was comforting to him.

By the looks of the discarded bottle on the ground and the smell of alcohol on his breath, he had already drank his way through an entire bottle of wine by the time Snake had arrived. He didn't try to pry into this; after all, he'd been there too. Raiden's greeting to Snake was a can of beer that he'd produced out of a brown paper bag lying next to him.

Raiden didn't talk about himself, let Snake update him on his and Otacon's affairs and skirted around the topic when the queries were put to him. Vague answers and rebuffed questions.

A lull in the conversation left Snake staring upwards. He pulled his jacket closer around himself as a chilly breeze passed over them. Though he hadn't chosen to disclose much about his own situation, it was still good to see Raiden after so long. Snake assumed that the lack of contact between them suggested Raiden was getting on with his life, making a recovery. He hoped so, at least.

Too busy with his thoughts and gazing towards the stars, Snake found Raiden planting a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss to the base of his neck.

* * *

_Snake shuddered as a cold, prosthetic hand ran down his abdomen._

_“Master-”_

_“God, please don't call me that, not like this. It's weird. Miller is fine.”_

_“All right, M-Miller. Don't you think this is-”_

_Wrong? Kaz snorted “Oh come on, David. You're a smart boy, you don't need to ask that question. Here.” Removing the lit cigarette from his mouth, he passed it to Snake, who took it wordlessly.  
_

* * *

A nip to his earlobe – that was enough to snap Snake out of it. He gently pushed Raiden away.

“Don't do this.”

“Why not?” 

Raiden's face was flushed – from the alcohol, from the cold air, from Snake.

“Because-”

“ _'Because you have a wife and a child'_ ” Raiden snarled, “That's what you were gonna say, right?”

Snake grumbled - Raiden had guessed correctly, but there was more to it than that.

“God! I don't give a shit about that, you know? I don't _care_ any more. I haven't been sober in months, what sort of environment,” he stumbled over his words, “is that to raise a kid in? And Rose... I don't deserve her.” 

Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes, and he began to wring his hands as he spoke, with a smaller voice this time. “So just tell the truth and say that I'm not good enough for you either.”

Silence fell between them – punctuated with sniffs and staccato-breaths from Raiden.

“You wanna hear a story?” Snake eventually said.

Raiden scrunched his nose up.

“What the hell has that got to do with anything?”

“Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway.”

“Whatever. Enlighten me, then.”

“All right. So there's this soldier – retired soldier, rather. Anyway, this soldier, after killing his father, he vowed never to go back to the mercenary life again. So instead he got drunk every night, cut himself off from the world-”

“What the fuck, Snake?” Raiden swayed to his feet, sending the paper bag and its contents to smash on the ground in the process. “If you're just gonna rip the shit out of me then I'm not interested in your damn story.”

“I never said this was about you.”

“You literally just described me, and you know it.”

“Sit down, Raiden.”

He complied with a petulant huff, stumbling back to the bench.

“As I was saying. He cut himself off from everyone. Bar his old mentor. Latched onto him early because he threw him some tiny crumbs of attention.”

With a shaky grip on his can, Snake finally opened the tab with a fizz, and took a long swig from it before continuing.

“But the ex-soldier didn't realise he was being used. Didn't realise that he was just a replacement for someone else, that he'd never be the right person for his mentor. Whether it was delusion or the fact he was so messed up,” Snake allowed his voice to crack a little, “on drugs and alcohol he didn't notice... is a question he still asks himself a lot.”

“I-” Raiden started, “I'm sorry. I- I didn't think...”

They both cast their eyes to the ground. 

“Don't sweat it.” 

He saw too much of himself in Raiden. Saw a frightened animal, beaten down by his battles. A kid with his heart in the right place but his head too mangled to follow it through. He was talking as much to his past self as he was to Raiden.

“I know you were moulded into being like me... but you threw those dog-tags away, remember? Don't follow in my footsteps any more. Don't make my mistakes.”

The words he wanted to hear from Big Boss. Verbal permission to leave his shitty past where it belonged and live a normal life. Snake had been naïve enough at one point to believe that he would be free once Big Boss was dead.

_It doesn't have to be that way. I'm not like you. I love life!_

Now, he understood that he was shackled to the battlefield and no amount of talking or thinking could change that. As hard as he tried, he couldn't escape.

But Raiden?

He wasn't bound by DNA or genes like Snake – he was a memetic clone. One step closer to a normal life that Snake would never be able to catch up to. 

Looking over at him, it seemed to Snake that Raiden had gained a very deep interest in the ground beneath his feet. Maybe he'd said too much. Pushed too hard.

He offered a final piece of advice.

“Look, I'm not Master Miller, and you're not me. I won't let you do that to yourself.” 

One last attempt at breaching Raiden's defences was met with the same thousand-yard stare. With his words defeated by the invisible wall Raiden had housed himself behind, all Snake could do now was pull him in for a hug.

Welcoming the gesture, Raiden lolled his head against Snake's shoulder, trying to even out his breathing. 

“God, I'm so fucked up...” he mumbled.

Perhaps all Raiden sought with this meeting was solidarity. Comfort in knowing there was someone else who understood. Someone who shared his grief rather than simply empathising with it. Snake decided to put his logical, problem-solving nature aside for this moment, and hugged more tightly.

“You and me both, kid.” he sighed, “You and me both.”


End file.
